Painting On A Smile
by safetyinnumbness
Summary: I've tried to hide my scars from you. Written and first posted on LJ October 2009


Notes: First posted 5.10.2009 to LJ, also on AO3 and DW. Spoiler for Sup With The Devil. All events take place after the final scene of the ep. The police terms and ranks are British, had to do a tiny bit of research on facial injuries though. Any mistakes are my own and unintentional.

"Lucy, can you walk?" Charlie asked, draping her arm around his neck, using his weight to get them both to their feet and away from the edge. He turned their bodies so they were facing the land and safety, heading back up towards the cliff top and partial dirt road.

Doug met them en route as Lucy stumbled on a tuft of weeds. He reached out and grabbed her, stopping her fall. "I'll carry you," he stated, worrying about her ever decreasing co-ordination. Lucy clasped her arms around Doug's neck as he put his arms under her knees to fully support her.

The two men carried their friend and colleague in silence as they drew farther and farther away from her horror, a horror they both knew would stay with her for a long time.

"I'll check on that ambulance," Charlie quietly said as they continued their ascent to safety.

Blue lights flashed in the foreground their wailing uncompromising accompanying siren's brought relief to Doug and Charlie as Lucy's condition continued to deteriorate. "It's about bloody time," Doug shouted at no one in particular as the ambulance stopped just a few feet away from them. Quickly gaining his second and third wind simultaneously Doug darted into the path of the oncoming stretcher.

Doug carefully laid Lucy on the stretcher, standing back while the paramedics attended to her, placing an oxygen mask on her face.

Charlie spoke to the paramedics. "She's been badly beaten and she was also in the water a couple of times," he informed them, recalling Lucy's tearful account of events purposely giving a shorter version.

"I'll go with her," Doug offered, refusing to hide his concern.

Charlie nodded in agreement. "Call me when she comes to."

"Will do sir."

"Wycliffe," Charlie answered. "Hiya love, I'm still out by Devil's Teeth. Will you leave my dinner in the oven?"

"I'll do that, are you alright?" Helen enquired.

Charlie gently shook his head. "I'm fine love, Lucy's been taken to hospital and Doug went with her."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Erm… could you stop by the station and get Lucy's keys, the desk sergeant'll let you up. She'll need a change of clothes and some pyjamas. They're keeping her in for observation."

"I'll do that; I'll see you at the hospital. Bye love."

"Yeah bye love," Charlie said ending the call.

Lucy's eyes watered as she attempted to open them, the clear plastic facial plate restricting movement on the left side of her face. "Where is he?" she groggily asked.

Doug shot to his feet, leaning over her. "Where's who Luce?"

"Mike Tyson, we have unfinished business."

Doug smiled at Lucy's comment. "Good to see you've still got your sense of humour." He watched her for a few seconds. "Can I get you something, anything?"

"A glass of water," Lucy requested watching as Doug carefully half-filled the re-enforced plastic tumbler, placing a drinking straw in it, handing it to her. He tried not to notice the bandages on both wrists from where the handcuffs chaffed and cut into her skin.

Helen peeked round the partly drawn curtain. "Charlie sent me," she announced. She held up a small hold-all, placing it on top of the bedside locker, she leant over and softly kissed Lucy on the cheek. "He said you'd need some things."

"Thanks Helen."

Doug stepped away. "I'll leave you two alone," he said.

Lucy coughed, grimacing as the reverberations caused her facial injuries to tingle and throb. "When will you be back?" she asked.

"When I've had a smoke and phoned Charlie."

Doug walked into Superintendent's office unannounced. "Lucy's awake sir. Helen's with her," he informed his superior.

"That's good. How is she?" he enquired, unsure of whether or not he'd like the answer.

Doug sighed, dropping into one of the chairs near the filing cabinet. "She's groggy which is understandable and she doesn't like coughing because it hurts. She's also trying to laugh it off."

"Trying to laugh it off, how?"

"By cracking Mike Tyson jokes sir."

Charlie fidgeted with some messages. "It's good that she's awake but I think that the events of today will be with her for a long time."

"Sir, if you don't mind me asking, what happened out at Devil's Teeth?"

"I'll tell you on the way to the hospital," Charlie said throwing Doug his car keys.

Doug and Charlie made their way through the maze like corridors to the ward where Lucy was staying. "Let her tell you in her own time Doug," Charlie warned as they finally arrived outside the main doors of the ward. Doug nodded his head in reply.

"You've got another visitor," Doug said loudly as he and Charlie arrived at Lucy's bed.

"Hi sir," Lucy mumbled.

Charlie's expression remained typically neutral. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, just a little sore and cold as well."

"What's the doctor said?" Doug asked.

Lucy glanced at Helen, signalling that she didn't want to speak any more. "She's got extensive soft tissue damage around her eye and cheekbone. The doctor said that she's lucky nothing got broken. He's also given her some pain killers and she'll be able to go home tomorrow afternoon."

Doug beamed, taking the over-sized chair beside the bed. "That is good news isn't it."

"I guess it is," Lucy mumbled.

A junior doctor approached Lucy's bed. "Visiting hours are almost over for tonight. You can come back tomorrow."

Helen and Doug kissed Lucy on the cheek, Charlie offered a parting wave. "Get some rest," Doug ordered.

A piercing scream, followed by a loud bone-shattering thud brought Lucy out of her fitful slumber. "Gary," she whispered loudly. She was attempting to get her breath back when the duty nurse came to her. "Go back to sleep," she ordered. Lucy shook her head at the order. "Guess I had a bad dream," she muttered softly.

For the rest of the night she stared up at the ceiling, counting all the dust particles as she waited for daybreak. She really wanted her mobile but that had gone over the edge of the cliff about 45 minutes before Gary Tregana did. "Idiot," she mouthed cursing herself.

A food trolley appeared at the foot of her bed. "Can I get you anything?" the porter asked. "Cup of tea would be nice. Is there any Special K?"

"Just cornflakes," the porter replied placing the cup and saucer on the pull-away-table. "I'll just have the tea."

Lucy pulled a face, signalling disgust, as the tepid dishwater like liquid hit the back of her throat. "Yuck!"

The familiar tones of Doug's voice echoing through the ward made her feel comfortable and safe. "Morning Luce. Look what I've brought," he said holding up a red and white striped carrier bag.

"If there's a bacon sarnie and a decent cup of tea in there Doug, I'll marry you."

Doug pulled out a greasy white paper bag, handing it to Lucy. "Got her to put plenty of ketchup on it for you. You've got a tea."

Lucy snorted. "It's not tea it's bloody dishwater." She passed the cup to him to have a taste, smiling as he pulled the same face. "I'll bring you a flask in."

Doug sat on the edge of the bed, mindful of where the sauce on his cooked sandwich would fall when it spurted out the edges of the bread cake. "Want me to cut it for you?" he asked as Lucy struggled to eat, instead picking off pieces of bread and bacon. "I'm fine," she said, wiping a small streak of sauce from the side of her mouth.

"DCC Stevens was in Charlie's office this morning. I don't think it's good," Doug mentioned.

"It never is."

Lucy put her picked at sandwich on the bag. She gently wiped a few tears away. "I can see this been blamed on me."

"What? Why?"

"Because I was alone with a victim and he's dead."

"Luce, look at me. Nobody knew a thing about Gary Tregana until you were missing, it's not your fault he's dead."

"I sent him over the edge of the cliff, Doug. How am I blameless?"

Doug carefully considered his words. "The way I see it is this; he gained your trust by acting the victim, and then abused it when he held you hostage, and wouldn't let you go."

Lucy sharply sighed. "Charlie told you."

"He didn't tell me everything though."

Pushing the table away from the bed, Lucy declared. "I'm not hungry."

Doug silently cursed himself for bringing up the subject of her kidnapper and subsequent ordeal. "I'm sorry Lucy," he whispered.

"I'm sorry too. I never saw it coming. My psychology degree really is useless isn't it."

"You profiled a victim not a suspect, Lucy; there is a difference you know."

"His victimology felt, I don't know, a little off. Some of the things that he was saying didn't quite add up with other things he'd said."

"The alarm bells didn't ring?"

"No they didn't. I feel so stupid for allowing myself to fall victim to Gary the way I did. Yeah I know that nobody really knew anything about him before I was missing but it's not going make things any easier for me when I come back to work."

"It's a bit soon to be thinking about work, eh Luce?"

"I'm on sick for the next week, and I don't really know what I'm going to do with myself because I am so used to working."

Doug's phone beeped, ending the tense conversation. He checked the message. "I'm needed at the nick. See you later."

"Bye Doug."

Lucy cried freely for the first time since her dramatic rescue, she held onto Helen as the sobs wracked her entire being. Helen soothingly stroked her hair, rubbing her back. "Let it out," she whispered encouragingly.

For a few minutes Lucy continue to hold on to her for the support she desperately needed, when she pulled away she jumped a little. Helen turned and looked out of the window. "What is it Lucy?" she asked.

"I thought I saw Gary Tregana," she choked.

"He's probably been swept out to sea by now. He can't hurt you any more Lucy."

Lucy gingerly bit her lip. "I know that, I just wish that my head knew that too."

"It'll take a while, you know that."

"Yes I do. It's the dreams that are the worst, Helen. I dreamt that I was back on the cliff, and that I pushed him over the edge to his death." Lucy stopped.

"Carry on," Helen prompted.

Lucy sniffled. "Instead of dying he got up and started climbing back up to me. I was so scared that he was going to try and kill me that I tried to run but kept tripping up. I woke up the fifth time I tripped."

"You were trying to see the dream through to the end weren't you?"

"I was but it felt like I was watching a bad film rather than reliving something more real."

"Is there anything you need at all?" Helen asked.

"A bath would be nice but I'm not allowed to get my bandages or the face plate wet."

Helen crouched in front of Lucy's chair, carefully removing the small pieces of tape holding the plate in place; once she removed it she turned her attention to the younger woman's wrists. "I won't tell if you won't."

"Helen, can you wait till I've got dried and dressed?" Lucy asked.

"Do you want me to re-do your dressings for you?"

Lucy nodded her head as she exited the kitchen making her way upstairs.

Helen waited until she heard Miles Davis echo around the property. Closing the living room door, she picked up the phone quickly dialling a memorised number. The conversation was short and quick. She went back to kitchen and finished fixing a light dinner for Lucy.

The kitchen door creaked a little when it was pushed. "Did you enjoy your bath?" Helen enquired noticing Lucy's more relaxed demeanour.

"I did enjoy it. I think I really needed it," Lucy replied attempting to smile.

Helen pointed to the chair. "I'll fix your bandages before I go." Once she'd finished re-dressing Lucy's physical wounds she looked at the clock. "Dinner's in the oven, get some rest and I'll pop in tomorrow."

"Thanks Helen. Good night," Lucy said, locking the front door.

A soft slam in the distance woke Lucy up; she put on her robe and slippers, heading downstairs to investigate the suspicious noise. Quietly stalking through her own house, her senses heightened by recent events. "Hello?" she called out waiting a moment for a response, when she didn't get one she checked all the rooms downstairs before opening the side door to find out if the noise was outside.

She was relived when a neighbour's cat crossed her path, looking at where the dustbin lid had fallen to the ground. She went back inside and re-locked the door. Rather than going back to bed she decided to find something to watch on TV instead.

Settling on a repeat of some 70's hospital show she rapidly dialled Doug's number and was about to hang up when he answered. "You okay Lucy?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I can't get back to sleep; the neighbour's cat woke me up."

"Do you want me to come over?" Doug offered.

"No thanks, er… what are you doing tomorrow? I mean other than working," she enquired.

"Not a lot I was going to get a six-pack and a curry. Want to join me?"

"Sounds nice, I'll see you tomorrow night. Thank's Doug."

"Night Luce, get some rest."

Lucy chuckled at his concern, ending the call. She pulled the blanket out from under the cushions, wrapping it around her, attempting to get comfy in a different position to what she was used to quickly falling into a light sleep.

"I thought you were on leave ma'am," DS Potter said.

"I am on leave, I'm here to see DI Kersey," she answered.

Lucy walked towards the entrance steps and was about go up when Doug came out. "Thought I saw you talking to Potter."

"You did, now for that takeaway you promised me," she flirted

Empty takeaway trays and beer cans were scattered across the coffee table and on the floor. Lucy sat back, putting her feet up on the edge of the table. "Make yourself at home," Doug teased.

"Sorry," Lucy said moving her feet away from the table.

"How's daytime TV?"

"Mind numbing, I think I've cleaned my entire house about ten times since I've been on leave."

"That's the boredom Luce."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "I know it is but it is helping me to take my mind off of what happened out at Devil's teeth. I'm sorry for snapping at you the other morning."

"It's forgotten."

"Gary forced me to drink whiskey while he held me captive. I couldn't get the bottle of out his hand because mine were behind my back the whole time." Lucy tried to force her tears to stop falling. "There was a few times, especially in the caves when I truly believed 'this is it' and I mentally prepared myself for the end."

Doug passed her a hanky. "You're still here Luce, what spurred you on?"

"Don't laugh. I thought about the important people in my life and how empty theirs would be without me."

"What important people?"

"There's you and Charlie, my sister Alana and my step-dad Michael."

"What about the rest of your family, Luce?"

Lucy's eyes were red and bloodshot from crying. "I only really see Alana and Michael because they live down in Truro; everyone else is always too busy to see me and it takes too long to get to Reading."

"Have they been to see you yet?" he asked, hiding his concern.

"Not yet, I only told them that I was attacked. I didn't go into details." Lucy let out a loud yawn. "Must be tired."

"Have you slept at all Luce?"

Lucy nodded her head. "A little but I keep waking up at the slightest sound now. Before I could sleep through anything."

Doug got up, briefly leaving the room. He returned with a tattered shirt. "Stay here tonight and I'll drive you home in the morning."

"Thanks Doug but I really should be going."

"It might help you know, staying here."

"Staying here might help with what?"

"Sleep. You look like you could do with a long sleep."

Lucy was too exhausted and sore to argue with him, grudgingly accepting his offer. "Where will you sleep?"

"I'll be out here if you need me."

Lucy knocked on the Superintendent's door. "Come in," he said. entering the office she closed the door behind her.

"I want to come back to work, sir."

"Are you sure that's wise Lucy? You are entitled to take two weeks off."

Lucy gently smiled. "I'm sure sir. I feel like I'm going mad been at home all day. I need to be working not twiddling my thumbs."

"I'm sorry Lucy but I won't allow it."

"You won't or Stevens won't?" she asked angrily.

"DCC Stevens has had his say in the decision."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "What about what I want? Shouldn't it be my decision when I feel I'm ready to return to work?"

"Yes Lucy it should be your decision," Charlie acknowledged.

"You've had my decision sir; I'll see you in the morning, first thing."

Charlie sighed knowing that he was loosing an unwinnable battle against Lucy's stubborn streak. "Fine, I'll see you tomorrow but you'll be on light duties for the time being."

"Thank you sir."

"Oh Lucy, ask me for time off if you ever need it."

Lucy was flicking through an oft-read copy of Woman's Own when the doctor called her name "Lucy Lane."

She tossed the magazine onto the messy stockpile and made her way to the examination cubicle. The doctor pulled the curtain around.

"How are you?" he enquired.

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Today we will be removing the plate from your face, it looks to have healed quite nicely. We'll also check your wrists too. Hop on to the bed for me."

"Okay," Lucy said, doing as she'd been asked.

The doctor carefully removed the plate, checking various areas of her face to make sure her injuries were healing properly and that she didn't have any discomfort. "This will be coming off today," he noted happily.

A few minutes later, the plate was removed. "Smile for me," he directed. Lucy smiled for the first time in over a week. "Any discomfort?" he asked. "None."

Carefully cutting the bandages along the side of her wrist, he gently removed them revealing light green bruises and healed cuts. "You won't be needing these either."

Lucy was going over her paperwork when she noticed a post-it note with counselling written on it. "I won't need that," she muttered tossing the note in the bin.

"Lucy, I need to see you in my office," Charlie requested.

"Yes sir," she said as Charlie closed the door.

"That message wasn't a request."

"I don't need to see a counsellor sir; I'd like to deal with this on my own." Lucy exited the office making her way to the car park. She leant against the boot of her car trying to regain her composure. "Luce?" Doug asked.

"I'm fine Doug. I'll be back in, in a minute."

Doug and Charlie were in a far corner talking quietly amongst themselves. "Sir, I'm worried about Lucy, she's trying to block out what Gary Tregana did to her."

"So am I but you know how stubborn she is."

"Do you want me to try and talk to her?"

"No, I'll get Helen to do it. She might listen to another woman."

Lucy re-entered the building, approaching Charlie and Doug. "Sir, I've been thinking."

"Go on,"

"I will see that counsellor. See if it helps, even just a little bit.

Lucy locked all the doors and windows and was about to go upstairs when another flashback started. She tried to ignore it but the intensity of it caused her to break. She sat on the bottom step, holding onto the thickest pole of the banister the tears flowed in a seemingly never-ending stream.

Two phones rang at the same time, she ignored them both oblivious to the message that was been left on her answering machine.

-end-


End file.
